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Tonight's Picks

Andrew Dice Clay Presents the Blue Show

Andrew Dice Clay Presents the Blue Show
SHO

When it comes to "working blue" -- trade jargon for peppering a stand-up comedy routine with obscenity and other rude content -- few comics have achieved the notoriety of Andrew Dice Clay during his career heyday in the late '80s and '90s. Now, in this new special, the comic spotlights his favorite contemporary blue comics, including Eleanor Kerrigan, Steve Wilson, Erik Myers, Jason Rouse, Michael Wheels Parise, Colin Kane and The Smash Brothers.

The Real Girl's Kitchen

The Real Girl's Kitchen
COOK

Haylie Duff loves nothing more than pranking her mother, Susan, and she has a doozy planned for the Season 2 premiere, "A Duff Cake." It's Susan's birthday, but Haylie convinces her she won't be able to attend her mom's birthday dinner that night, so she makes a special birthday breakfast for her. Next, she enlists the aid of another Duff -- Goldman, of "Ace of Cakes" -- to make a birthday masterpiece before heading off to the restaurant to help prepare appetizers for the dinner.

2015 WHCA Dinner

2015 WHCA Dinner
C-SPAN

Best known to "Saturday Night Live" fans as the Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With at a Party, Cecily Strong becomes only the fourth woman -- after Paula Poundstone, Elayne Boosler and Wanda Sykes -- to be the featured comic at the yearly (and very prestigious) White House Correspondents' Dinner. In addition to Strong's comedy riffs, the program also includes celebrity arrivals and a speech by President Obama.

Toy Story 3

Toy Story 3
ABC

There's still plenty of life left in Buzz Lightyear and cowboy Woody, as Tim Allen and Tom Hanks reprise their voice roles in this delightful and quite affecting 2010 sequel to the earlier Disney-Pixar box-office smashes. With their owner, Andy, heading off to college, most of his toys -- except Woody, who goes with him -- get a new destination, a day care center where they aren't treated too well. Michael Keaton gives voice to Ken, longtime boyfriend of Barbie.

My Cat From Hell

My Cat From Hell
APL

Tom Bombadil is a totally benign character in the books of J.R.R. Tolkien, but Bombadil, a kitten Justin gives to his cat-loving mom, turns out to be a nightmare that poops all over her home and attacks her other, mellower cats in the new episode "Cat Karma." Justin's mom is considering giving Bombadil away unless he can find a solution. Elsewhere, a cat named Percy loudly disrupts the tranquil life of Buddhists Tom and Pola.

Scorpion

Scorpion
CBS

One of CBS' top stars for many years, "JAG" alum David James Elliott returns to the network as a guest star in "Forget Me Nots." He plays an ex-Secret Service agent whose memory suffers a blow -- a big problem, since he's the only person who can help Team Scorpion stop weapons of mass destruction from being set off. Drew's (Brendan Hines) thought to move to Maine with Ralph (Riley B. Smith) worries Paige (Katharine McPhee).

Valley Uprising

Valley Uprising
DSC

Discovery Channel launches its Elevation Weekend event with the premiere of this award-winning documentary, which chronicles the stories of adventurous souls who, over 50 years, have pushed the envelope in terms of what's possible in Yosemite Valley, Calif., a favorite spot for rock climbing, thanks to challenging peaks such as Half Dome and, especially, El Capitan.

When Calls the Heart

When Calls the Heart
HALL

The period drama returns for a second season with "Trials of the Heart," a new two-hour episode that finds Elizabeth and Jack (Erin Krakow, Daniel Lissing) closer than ever after their first kiss. Their relationship will be tested, however, when bad news from home forces her to return to the high-society life she abandoned. Back in Coal Valley, Abigail (Lori Loughlin) anxiously awaits the outcome of the trial that could clear her late husband of culpability in the mine disaster. Jack Wagner also stars.

Godzilla

Godzilla
HBOE

Despite such notable human stars as Bryan Cranston ("Breaking Bad"), Elizabeth Olsen and Juliette Binoche, size still matters when it comes to the most notable cast member in this latest remake of the monster classic. Then again, he's the title character, so what else would you expect? Fearsome as he is, Godzilla also is the piece's hero as he battles creatures called MUTOs. Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ken Watanabe and Sally Hawkins also star.

Boyhood

Boyhood
SHO

Patricia Arquette won an Academy Award as best supporting actress for her performance in writer-director Richard Linklater's 2014 drama, which he filmed over the course of 12 years. The film traces a Texas youth's (Ellar Coltrane) coming of age, with each year represented by a different vignette from his life. Arquette and Ethan Hawke, a frequent Linklater collaborator, play the boy's parents. In addition to five other Oscar nominations, "Boyhood" also topped many best-of-2014 lists.

Orphan Black

Orphan Black
BBCAM

In a new episode, Castor agents (Ari Millen) pursue the Leda clones (Tatiana Maslany) to obtain original tissue samples. Elsewhere, a captive and pregnant Helena is examined by a new villain, while the sadistic Castor boys toy with a new victim, unwittingly putting Sarah and Art (Kevin Hanchard) on their trail. Sarah also begins to suspect that the Castors may have a strange genetic defect that threatens their lives.

Criminal Minds

Criminal Minds
CBS

Having many followers on social media turns out not to be a good thing for the Maryland-based victims in "Hashtag." The supposed culprit is an urban legend that exists on the Internet, giving cyber-savvy Garcia (Kirsten Vangsness) a particular challenge in cracking the case. Morgan's (Shemar Moore) relationship with girlfriend Savannah (Rochelle Aytes, "Mistresses") suffers strain from their mutually demanding careers.